Freezer Burn (2007) Quotes

Movie quotes:
Virgil: Oh! Hey! It’s a tiny wooden moose!
Blake: It gave me a whittle cramp.
Virgil: Oh! You got a whittle cwamp?
Blake: A whittling cramp, a whittling cramp, ‘cause I was – I was up all night whittling!

Virgil: Alright, I’ll see ya – later.
Rex: Fifteen years.
Virgil: Fifteen years.

Gary: Here are your fuckin’ French Fries.
Rex: They’re Freedom Fries, Gary.
Gary: Yeah, sure.
Rex: You’re letting the terrorists win!

Rex: I’ll give you the rundown. A few years back, terrorists attacked us, fucked shit up royal – so, now we’re back in Iraq, and we’re asking for help, and the Frenchies are like, ‘No!’. So we’re all, like, ‘Bye, French Fries; hello, Freedom Fries’.
Virgil: Sounds…stupid and convoluted.
Rex: Yeah, and we got Freedom Toast, Freedom Bread, Freedom Dip, Freedom Kissin’…it’s a different world now, Virg – welcome to it. Need some ketchup – Gary!

At a glance:
An entertaining concept and some enthusiastic acting make Freezer Burn’s tale of cryogenic love a low-budget sci-fi gem

Our review (with spoilers):
Virgil Stamp (Robert Harriell) is a scientist whose goal is to prolong the ability to freeze donor organs. Buoyed by his success with monkey hearts, he makes the jump to believing he can freeze an entire living thing. A terminally ill dog is his first test; when that succeeds, he looks for another subject. In the meantime, his devotion to his work has caused tension between him and his wife, Blake (C. C. Seymour). This isn’t helped when he takes a liking to the paintings of Emma (Ella Rae Peck), a comely 14 year old student of Blake. When Blake finds out that he purchased one of Emma’s paintings behind her back, she destroys his frozen specimens, ruining his upcoming presentation. With his funding and his marriage terminated, Virgil realizes his feelings for Emma are true love. To prove his theories are correct, and to set up a legal meeting between Emma and himself, he freezes himself, leaving instructions for his assistant Rex (Michael Consiglio) to thaw him out in fifteen years. He also leaves instructions for Mendelson (Ivo Velon), a dodgy criminal who owes him a favor, to keep track of Emma. Eleven years later, a failure to pay notice means Virgil climbs out of his freezer in the middle of a dump, homeless and in his underwear. He has no friends, no money, and no outer garments. He eventually finds Rex, who is now homeless, and Mendelson finds him. Mendelson’s news is that Emma died in a car crash, but as he tells his story, we see that in reality, Mendelson fell in love with Emma and married her (this plotline is a bit similar to There’s Something About Mary).

There are moments of amateurish writing and acting in Freezer Burn, but not many, and not nearly enough to reduce the enjoyment of the clever concept, entertaining story, enthusiastic acting, and the general ‘feel-good’ mood of the whole project. Robert Harriell is particularly good in a demanding role that requires he is on-screen almost all the time, often by himself. Some of the fall foliage location filming in Connecticut is also beautiful. I’m hoping to see more from writer/director Charles Hood.

Rating: 2.75 of 4

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Other reviewers said:
"If you can look past the lack of polish, there are some very fun and entertaining bits in here."
- Curse of Greyface

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For Your Consideration (2006) Quotes

Movie quotes:
"You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you have is a wet, critically injured baby."
- Lane Iverson (Michael McKean)

At a glance:
Christopher Guest’s first ever misfire looks behind the scenes at low-budget film-making; an attempt is made at both comedy and sincerity, but neither is delivered

Our review (with spoilers):
This inside-Hollywood film looks at the making of Home For Purim, a 1940s Jewish-themed drama about the American South. Three of the actors (two in the twilight of their careers, and one just making the jump from comedy) find out that they may be nominated for Best Actor Academy Awards. It’s likely these are just rumors and nothing more, since the script, performances, and direction are not really a-grade.

There are talented performances by Guest’s usual team of potentially hilarious comic actors, but, sadly, very little of the film is funny. The too-broad jokes do not feel like they have a basis in fact (for example, an agent who has never used the Internet). What did make me laugh were the intonations and accent (is that supposed to be New York?) of Christopher Guest’s character. I also appreciated the wonderful Catherine O’Hara. She gets the best character to play here: a fully fleshed out role as an ageing actress who believes her waning career may be on the ascension.

Christopher Guest movies are not meant to be side-splittingly funny. Rather, they are best appreciated as low-budget, humorous and affectionately-made gems, featuring a returning cast of familiar faces. Waiting for Guffman, Guest’s first and funniest, benefited from its status as a true comic surprise. Best in Show had perhaps the broadest comic appeal and was the most successful of the lot. A Mighty Wind was not as funny but was carried by the humorous, entertaining folk music parodies and moments of touching sincerity. For Your Consideration doesn’t have the music, comedy, or sincerity to salvage it.

Rating: 1 of 4

Other reviewers said:
"The problem with For Your Consideration is that it breaks the cardinal rule of comedy: it just isn't funny."
- Ted Murphy (Murphy's Movie Reviews)

"The best jokes are the true jokes, and truth has not been best served here."
- Anthony Quinn (Independent)

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I Love You Man (2009) Quotes

Movie quotes:
Peter: So what do I do? How do I make friends?
Robbie: If you see a cool looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter: Ok.
Robbie: You know what I mean?
Peter: No.
Robbie: Casual lunch or after work drinks. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter: Oh god, I love that movie. No I won’t.

Man at Open House: [after trying to discretely fart] I like it, but I'm not sure about the space.  I'm thinking it might be a little bit small.
Sydney: Totally, and it smells like fart.

At a glance:
Paul Rudd is funny, likeable, and believable as the quintessential "girlfriend’s boyfriend’ who undergoes a freedom of inhibitions when he bonds with a male free spirit played by Jason Segel

Our review (with spoilers):
Like most men, Peter (Paul Rudd) is thrilled to have found the love of his life, but unlike most other men, he doesn’t seem to be feeling the least bit of trepidation about his impending loss of freedom. And also unlike other men, he doesn’t have any male friends. Peter is the quintessential boyfriend, always devoting his time to making life good for his fiancée Zooey (Rashida Jones) and her friends. He’s a lover of chick flicks like The Devil Wears Prada, he doesn’t crave a night out with the guys playing poker and vomiting, and he’s not averse to treating his girlfriend’s hens to a round of root beer floats garnished with Pepperidge Farm Pirouettes chocolate straws.

After a humorous and fruitless search for male companionship on a series of ‘man dates’, many sponsored by his gay brother and misguided mother, Peter finally happens across someone he can bond with: easygoing free spirit Sydney (Jason Segel). Anchored by their shared acquired passion for the rock band Rush, they become such good friends and frequent companions that their relationship begins to crack seams in the bond between Peter and Zooey.

I Love You Man is a very funny movie (especially before it turns a bit maudlin and contrived in the final third). It also had its humorous base in truth; much of Peter’s pre-Sydney situations reminded my very much of my own life.

Although the basic bones of I Love You Man is a tried and true clichéd friendship/redemption story, there are enough funny and original lines that it’s still a rewarding journey. In fact, this works both ways: fans of easy to access happy endings will like it, those who crave originality will like it, and there’s even a fair bit of gross-out humor thrown in to please every taste.

Rating:  2.75 of 4

Other reviewers said:
"A blokey comedy that ironically doubles as a good date movie, I Love You, Man is funny nonsense that just drops short of fulfilling its ripping premise."
- Shannon J. Harvey (Sunday Times [Australia]

"Starting with a pretty funny script, writer-director Hamburg lets his cast have a free hand with their characters, and the improvisational atmosphere is what makes this male-bonding comedy thoroughly engaging."
- Rich Cline (Shadows on the Wall)

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