Batman Returns

Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
Life's a bitch. Now so am I.
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
I believe the word you're looking for is: Ahhhhhhhh!
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
We're both perceived as monsters. But, somehow, you're a well respected monster, and I am, to date, not.
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Bruce Wayne/Batman:
What do you want?
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask.
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
[Y]ou and I have something in common.
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the Czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me. Naked sexual charisma!
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Alfred Pennyworth:
Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Bruce Wayne/Batman:
You might be right.
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Max Shreck:
Power surplus. Bruce, shame on you. No such thing. One can never have too much power.
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
[H]ow's Fred Atkins, your old partner?
Max Shreck:
Fred? Fred's actually . . . I believe he's on extended vacation--he's good.
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
"Hi ya, Max! Remember me?! I'm Fred's hand!" You wanna greet any other body parts?!
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
Mayor?!
Max Shreck:
Mayor.
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
Max, elections happen in November . . . is this not late December?
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
You don't really think you'll win, do you?
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
I am Catwoman . . . hear me roar.
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Alfred Pennyworth:
Sir, shall we change the channel to a program with some dignity and class . . . Love Connection, perhaps?
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless?
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Girl:
Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest role model a young person could have.
Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
And, you are the hottest young person a role model could have.
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
Meow.
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
To destroy Batman, we must first turn him into what he hates the most . . . namely, us.
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
Actually, this is all just a bad dream. You're at home, in bed, heavily sedated, resting comfortably, dying from the carcinogens you personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony or poetic justice, you tell me.
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Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin:
I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two.
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Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
Who are you? Who's the man behind the bat? Maybe you can help me find the woman behind the cat.
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Max Shreck:
What did curiosity do to the cat?
Selina Kyle/Catwoman:
I'm not a cat. I'm just an assistant . . . a secretary.

CAST
Bruce Wayne / Batman (Michael Keaton)
Oswald Cobblepot / Penguin (Danny DeVito)
Selina Kyle / Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer)
Max Shreck (Christopher Walken)
Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Gough)